To Citibank: How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways…
1. For taking one month, rather than "4 simple steps and less than 10 minutes," to establish my account via your online account sign-up process.
2. For requiring different things depending upon whether when one opens an account at a branch or online.
3. For holding my funds for a week while you "wait for them to clear" when they've been electronically wired from another bank.
4. And finally, after the month of tribulations to open an account with you, for sending me an email thanking me for my interest in a Citibank checking account and encouraging me to open one in "4 simple steps and less than 10 minutes."