Megnut Marketing and Telecommunications Bill

I would like to propose the "Megnut Marketing and Telecommunications Bill of 2002" for consideration by the United States Congress:

Section 1: It shall be illegal for telemarketers to call outside the hours of 9-5 local time for the number they are dialing, Monday through Friday. If they call outside the designated hours, they will be fined $1,000 for each violation, 50% of which goes to the victim.

Section 2: It shall be illegal for financial companies (like credit card companies) to label envelopes with formal-looking warnings like, "Requires Immediate Attention" or "Signature Required" when in actuality the envelop contains some stupid credit card offer and requires no attention at all on the part of the addressee. This section can be summed up: It shall be illegal to make junk mail look like real mail.

I'm sure this bill requires additional sections that escape me now, but this is a start.

Also, I'm going to start referring to ATM's as "automatic T machines" from now on. You should too.