Alton Brown is witty, irreverent — and the perfect person to take you step by step (from selecting to carving) to a delicious holiday bird. If somehow, after all the links and information from the Thanksgiving Spectacular, you still aren't sure how to proceed with Thanksgiving, this guide from Bon Appétit will help. Honestly, if you can't figure out how to cook a turkey after everything I've linked in the past week, I think you're better off going out to eat. Or having someone else cook! 🙂