A week-and-a-half ago, being a planning-in-advance kind of girl, I place an order with Martha for a pair of turkey toothpickholders (which I intended to use as mini-vases for tiny flowers, or something). Every night as I lay in bed, I'd think, "Maybe the turkeys will arrive tomorrow!" Alas, the days have passed, the mail has come and gone, and no turkeys. Today's delivery again failed to deliver my turkeys, and now only one day remains. I've called customer support, they claim to have shipped them on the 14th, but no turkeys. But I don't need the turkeys after Thanksgiving, I explained to the man on the phone. But his hands are tied. And the pièce de résistance of my Thanksgiving tablesetting n'est pas ici. Why oh why did you fly away dear turkey toothpickholders? We weren't even planning on eating you.